Adoption Archives

Adoptive Parents: Preparing For A Home Study

One of the most stressful parts of the adoption process is the home visit, even though it’s necessary (and I think that biological parents should go through it too, to be honest). It’s important that they see that you can create a safe and loving environment for your future kids. When planning for your home study, you need to be sure that your home is clean, childproof, and safe. Check out these tips by Cindy Roussos at Ehow to ensure that your home visit goes smoothly. Actually, every home with a child in it should have these done:

-Make sure that all smoke alarms are functioning

-Secure all firearms in a locked case or safe.

-Cover electrical outlets with plastic stoppers, put childproof locks on cabinets with dangerous chemicals

-Have a designated space for the child with a bed and window.

-Remove all dust, mold, and garbage from the home.

Photo Credit: Mark Moz

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What To Do When Waiting For Adopted Kids

by Kathy T.

All parents will do anything for their kids. Some parents have to go the extra mile and fight a hard battle before they can even be together. Some moms spend nine months carrying their kids, then have to go through labor and delivery. Other moms (and dads) have to go through months (or even years) of dealing with an adoption agency, filling out paperwork, and making sure everything is perfect before they get their placement. Either way, the wait can be agonizing. Are you in the middle of the adoption process? Unsure what to do as the paperwork is being processed? You’re not alone. Read this post by Kelli Moore at Lots Moore Love for ideas while you wait:

-Prepare the room- get your nursery ready, or paint the walls an appropriate color for a teenager. Add chairs to your kitchen table if you don’t have enough room!

-Get out of debt- to prepare your finances for the added member of the family

-Fundraise- fundraising is going to be a great way to alleviate some of the burden those costs make on your family.

-Take some “pregnancy” photos! Check out Pinterest- there are plenty of ideas for photos for expectant adoptive moms.

Photo Credit: Meg Wills

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Adopted Children- Dealing With Attachment

by Kathy T.

I do not have any adopted children, though I have considered it many times. Being a parent is difficult, and adoptive children come with their own set of challenges. One of the main challenges with adopting is forming deep attachments initially. Often, you miss out on months (or years) of baby bonding time, and you have to work really hard to form that parent/child connection. Some children come from neglectful or abusive backgrounds, and they can be even more difficult to work with. For tips on how to build a stronger attachment with your child (adopted OR biological), read this post by JoAnn Solchany, PhD. At Baby Center:

-Be predictable. Be there for your child. Respond to his cries, yells, and calls either physically or verbally within 15 seconds.

-Be empathetic and sensitive. Ask yourself, “What might my child be thinking right now?”

-Don’t take your child’s behaviors (expressions of fear, anger, frustration, terror, and other difficult feelings) personally. Your child’s ability to express emotion is not yet fully developed.

-Never let her feet touch the floor! Hold her, touch her, and wear her. You cannot hold them or spoil them enough!

Photo Credit: basibanget

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Making Adoption A Financial Option

by Kathy T.

When I express my interest in one day adopting a child, I’m usually faced with many incredulous looks. Sometimes, people wrinkle their noses, and say, “Why? Don’t you want YOUR OWN kid?” Other people think it’s a fine idea, but usually gasp and say, “But it’s so EXPENSIVE!” Okay. 1. If I do decide to adopt, rather than birth a child- it makes no difference. He or she will still be MY OWN child. And 2. Deciding to have children is an expensive choice no matter what. However, yes, adoption fees can be insanely high, and the entire process is a ton of work- it can take years, and requires an endless amount of paperwork, character investigations, and home studies before you are even considered. If you are adopting outside your own country, the process can be even more harrowing. But, in the end, it’s all worth it. Ask any new mother who has just given birth and she will tell you the same- the pain, no matter how bad, was worth it. Adoptive parents just go through a different kind of struggle. There is good news, though! There are plenty of grants out there for adoptive parents that can help with the cost. Check out this post by Natalie at Little Things, Big Stuff for grant application tips:

Ask what grants other families have received. We asked families who are similar to us (the same religion, living in your state, adopting from the same country, etc.). We thought about the categories we fit into and applied for specific grants.

Create a spreadsheet with details of the grants to simplify the process

Get a core of five good references

Include a cover letter, even if it doesn’t ask for one. We kept it short, but included fun details of our story that make us unique.

Photo Credit: Steven Depolo

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Pros and Cons of Adopting Toddlers

by Kathy T.

If you’ve always wanted to adopt, and longed to have a child of your own no matter what the costs, you probably don’t care about the drawbacks. Also, this post is not intended to dissuade anyone from adopting a toddler- it’s a lifechanging, incredible experience. Rather, it’s so prospective parents know exactly what they’re getting into, especially when adopting a child that’s already 2 or 3 years old. This post by Carly at Africa to America is a pretty good guide. Be sure to click through to the entire post to read her story:

-You get to be there for a lot of “firsts” with a younger child

-Attachment may come more naturally with a smaller child

-Toddlers are super cute!

-…But they are EXHAUSTING, both mentally and physically.

-Toddlers have most likely spent their early years in an orphanage, foster care, or a traumatic home. Be prepared for their emotional needs when dealing with this.

Photo Credit: Jenny Downing

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