Family Archives - Page 17 of 26

When Dolls Come Alive

With the Type-A Mom Conference still fresh in my mind, I’m spending some time with the stack of business cards I collected to get a feel for the people I met. I’ve just surfed over to Down to Earth Mama and saw a post that has me holding my sides from laughing… the evil doll post!

Until the nightmare. Until Chewy turned on me in a fit of rage and tried to strangle me (note: I had not seen Chucky). She chased me around the house, knocked over chairs, jumped and floated through the air like she was staring in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The nightmare seemed so real, so intense.

I woke up scared, but with a mission. Chewy turned on me. The friendship was over. Even at four, I was a fighter…

Oh how I remember those nightmares when I was a kid! Some nights I’d struggle to fall asleep as I imagined my Barbie dolls and Chatty Cathie coming to life. I clearly remember pretending to sleep with my eyes open just a slit so I could catch them as they became animated.

Sometimes I would turn them all to face the wall so I wouldn’t feel like I was being watched. Then when I married, I learned my husband’s stepmother was a doll collector. That was some creepy stuff … staying the night and getting THE DOLL ROOM! Gah!

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Our Kids and September 11th

by Kathy T. 1 Comment

One of my friends posted as her Facebook update earlier: It’s been 8 years but I still couldn’t talk about the significance of today with J without crying.

I’m usually a pretty calm’ish person. I try not to overreact, but on September 11, 2001 I was 1400 miles from home. It was grueling to get home and when I did make it home – after driving for two days – I just wanted to stay put. I wanted to be near my children and my husband.

Given the historic circumstances, maybe I didn’t overreact. But I didn’t let my daughters go to Girl Scout camp that weekend. I couldn’t. All the other girls who went had a really fun time. We stayed home and probably did nothing. But after that terrible day, sometimes you just need the absence of drama to make things right.

We know that things won’t ever be the same – or “right” – again. We always look at planes a little differently. I don’t live in fear by any means, but I do look at things with more cynicism. I want to teach my children to also always be aware of their surroundings. But I don’t want to instill distrust at the same time. It’s a tightrope we walk, but it’s the reality of our lives now.

We will always remember.

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Even the Friendliest Can Bite

by Kathy T. Leave a Comment

I was at a party on Sunday and enjoyed watching all the babies and toddlers coo and play, and the sweet little shih tzu prance around trying to be a part of the fun. Watching the little girl who I didn’t even know drive her toy car up my leg made me laugh… wow was she outgoing! Seeing her little sister who was probably only about 18 months old demand HER share of play time with the same toy … wow what spunk!

It was all fun until they started to leave. Before anyone could stop her, the toddler bent down to hug the doggie good bye and then, “WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” I guess Molly doesn’t like being hugged. She nipped at the little girl who melted into a puddle of tears and sobbing.

Thankfully she was okay, but it sure serves as a reminder that even the friendliest of dogs can bite out of the blue. Love your pets, but be careful when strangers are around them, too. Especially kids!

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One of Life’s Great Mysteries: SOLVED

by Kathy T. Leave a Comment

MYSTERY: Where’s the other sock?

ANSWER: In the bottom of my daughter’s closet.

Along with countless hair brushes, makeup, all the blankets missing from the house, papers this college-student did in the 4th grade, shoes, t-shirts, coats, and so much more that I’m embarrassed to say! My conclusion is that from now on I’m going through my kid’s closet at least once a year.

Photo by TheoGeo via Flickr Creative Commons whose closet is much neater than my daugther’s.

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Off to College …

by Kathy T. 2 Comments

I feel an explanation is owed for my long absence, but LIFE HAPPENS! Annie graduated from high school, Erin graduated from middle school, we had a long good summer (Erin won the title Junior Miss Tennessee of Baton Twirling), then baby started high school, and NOW… NOW the oldest starts college. This Friday. Two days.

I’ve been experiencing a wide range of emotions this week – sadness, happiness, fear, glee, pride, nervousness. Annie has been pretty angry at me for making her move on campus. Her university is only about 30 to 40 minutes from the house, but I felt dorm life is very important to the whole college experience. Sharing a room, using a community bathroom, walking to meet your friends at the cafeteria, late night pizzas, parties (alcohol free of course) (right…), and classes.

Today she and some friends drove to the university and just hung out. They bought their textbooks and walked to each others dorms before coming home. She called me and *finally* said, “I think I’m getting pretty excited about this Mom. But I’m still a little nervous.” Her excitement is now very blatant… she’s going through her room packing. We’ve convinced her that she doesn’t need to bring all of the Harry Potter books. We’ve told her to leave valuables at home … at least the things she wouldn’t ever want to lose.

Now I’m questioning myself – did I remind her to never walk alone at night, did I tell her about drinking and driving, drugs, to always lock her dorm room, to keep her keys in her hands when she’s entering the dorm or her room, to not miss class, to keep all her homework “due” dates on a calendar. I worry that I’m too worried. I have butterflies for her. I’m trying not to cry in front of her. I’m so excited.

What a great time in a young adults life – she’s perched and ready to fly.

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One Hug

by Kathy T. Leave a Comment

I have been a Girl Scout leader for the past five years and have been involved in scouting for about 14 years. There have been definite ups and downs with silly scout politics within service units and at council-level. There have been definite ups and downs with the kids – from scouts who had terrible, destructive attitudes to working with the truly needy girls.

But in the last 36 hours, it all came down to one hug today as my reason for being a Girl Scout leader. And it wasn’t from either of my daughters. One girl in my troop desperately needed to get involved with a group of girls who were role models. We’ve worked with her on grooming, how to dress modestly, using indoor voice, sharing, treating other girls with respect … the whole gamut. Honestly, all the girls in my troop of just-now-teenagers have needed guidance in all these areas, but this one really needed a little bit extra.

I received a call yesterday afternoon from her. Crying, she told me her Mom was missing. Her Mom is a home health care nurse and had gone to her first appointment. She never made it to her next appointment. Nor her next. No phone calls. No nothing. The family contacted the police and as word got out, we started prayer chains. The best case scenario that we could think of was maybe Mom just needed some space and time alone to think, you know? Though it felt harsh to think that, it was the least disturbing of the terrible things that raced through our minds.

My girl went to the police station with her Dad and waited as he was questioned. We texted back and forth and I let her know how much she was loved and if she needed me or my co-leader, we were there for her. Even through this drama, we moved forward with the yard sale that had been planned for months. The other moms in the troop hosted it today to raise money for a summer trip. Our girl called and asked if she could come – she needed to get out of the madness at her house for awhile. My troop co-leader picked her up and when she came, we all hugged her. It didn’t take long for the girls to fall back into their usual discussions about boys.

After about an hour, she came up to me with her arms out. I hugged her back and she held the hug for about two minutes. It felt like 30 minutes as she laid her head on my shoulder and cried. It was then that my full potential as a Girl Scout leader had been met. One hug. One hug that told a scared girl that no matter what, she was loved. That no matter what, there would be someone there to embrace her and comfort her. There was someone who truly cared about what would happen to her. I don’t know if I’ll ever again get a hug like that from anyone – my own children, grandchildren someday? But I was glad I had been in her life so at that moment when she needed it, I was there.

About three hours later, we finally heard the news that her Mom contacted the family. SAFE. I don’t know what happened. I’m pretty sure I don’t WANT to know. But I’ll never forget that one hug.

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We Still Can’t Afford Disney World

by Kathy T. Leave a Comment

Have you ever heard about the mother crow cawing because her baby is the blackest? I've been accused a time or two of doing just that, but dang it… sometimes things are just absolutely worth cawing over.

There was a voicemail message on my machine when I came home from taking 13-yr old Erin to the doctor (poor baby officially has the flu). It was from the Honors College at the University 18-yr old Annie wants to attend. The Dean was calling to congratulate her because she was selected as one of 20 incoming freshmen to be awarded the school's prestigious fellowship program. They have about 7,000 incoming freshmen and approximately 400 apply.

I was mighty proud. Then I checked the mail and there were TWO letters from the University. Not only did she get the fellowship, but she was also awarded the President's scholarship.

As I watched her college savings account plunge these last six months, I am elated to know that Annie has a full ride to her university of choice!

A word of caution, however. Never brag about one child to the other who's sick. I told fever-ridden Erin about it and added that we would now be able to roll Annie's money into *her* college savings account. She was completely insulted, "What? You don't think *I* can get it?!?!"

Hoo boy.

"Of course you can! And when you do, I'm taking the whole family to Disney World!"

I think I just killed Dad's dream of getting a motorcycle in five years.

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The Case Against Extended Family

by Kathy T. 4 Comments

I like the nuclear family model. I used to think it would be wonderful for grandparents, in-laws, etc. to all live together in a lovey-dovey commune like structure – share a yard like they do on HBO’s Big Love (but not the husband).

Next month is the 14th anniversary of my mother-in-law living with us. At Thanksgiving, she went to stay with her sister for a few weeks (she’s still gone after a big "discussion" with my husband about giving ~~her~~ me another week to visit). She goes away for about a week every two or three years. Though I know my mother-in-law is awesome to have at home because she can be there for the kids when they get home and I’m working (not to mention the mounds of laundry she does), I really appreciate this time having the house as a nuclear family. I like it with just me, my husband, and two daughters.

Our whole family dynamic changes when she’s gone. It’s … good. The girls help around the house more. And the daughter who usually gives me grief gets all nice and cuddly. My big baby actually sat on my lap for 20 minutes the other night and we just talked. About friendshp, boys, the future, the present. It was wonderful.

When my mother-in-law is gone, we’re not depressed because we don’t have to hear over and over about the uncle who died in the mine when a piece of slate fell on him or how much she hates people who drink. We’re not angry because we aren’t being needled about making a mess. We laugh, we wrestle, we yell. We play because we’re not being reminded that we need to "grow up." We’re happy.

I cherish these times. And I caution people to be very very careful if you’re considering opening your home to other family members. It may be great for you (and I fervently hope it is), but even the best of people can be sour to live with.

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The Secret Family Word

by Kathy T. Leave a Comment

We have a secret word in our family – it’s a code word that is never ever given to anyone outside our family. It’s reserved for emergency use only. It’s for those situations when something comes up that Annie and Erin don’t know in advance and someone else has to pick them up.

Yesterday one of my besties called for help. Because of a communication hiccup between her husband and EVERYONE else, her daughter was just off the bus – home alone – with no way to get inside the house. I live nearby so was happy to tool on over to bring her home with me. Before I invited her in the car, though, I said, "Here talk to your Mom so you know it’s okay to come home with me." She did and everything was fine. Her Mom was just 10 minutes behind us.

Perhaps cell phones take away the need to have code words. However when no phone is available, having a family password would be a great idea.

"Your Mom says for you to come home with me. Your family secret code word is ‘hulahoophippo’."

If you don’t have a word, make sure you pick one that everyone will remember. For example, maybe there’s a personal family joke:

When my husband and I had our first date and there was lettuce on my forehead, "forehead lettuce."

Or your dog chases its tail, "Snoopy tail."

Or someone once threw up all over their pasta, "Chunky spaghetti."

You get the idea. Do you have a secret word for your family?

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Playing Dress Up

by Kathy Helbig 6 Comments

Halloween is one of my all time favorite holidays of the year! But this year celebrating it comes sooooo easy for me. My friends and I usually sweep the costume contests every year. We spend a few weeks piecing together our group costumes from scratch…no mass produced, costumes in a box for us, no sir!

In years past we took first place as, The Munsters, The Scooby Doo Gang, Gilligan’s Island Castaways, Fat Albert Kids and Willy Wonka and the Oompa loompas.

But this year, I didn’t have it in me… it’s been a crazy, stressful year and the thought of going through all of the rigmarole just didn’t do it for me like it usually does.

But then it dawned on me; this would be my easiest year yet. When would I have an opportunity like this again?????

So here it is ladies and gentlemen…..without further adieu, here is my first place prize winning costume for Halloween 2008 as well as first place in group category. And all it took was a pair of glasses and a red suit!

Watch out Tina Fey! If Governor Palin is elected (no political opinions, please) I just may have a NEW career for 4 more years!

Happy Halloween!

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