Family Archives - Page 14 of 26

Putting a Stop to Unwanted Wedding Help!

Flipping channels this morning, I came across yet another reality show…”Momster of the Bride”. The name says it all. I watched the show in it’s entirety, becoming more and more disgusted with the behavior of this so-called “parent”. I was reminded of the situation a friend is in regarding her wedding, and her mother’s desperate need to control it.

So far, my friend has compromised on the location of both the ceremony itself and the reception. She’s been almost harassed by her mother’s side of the family regarding religious views and traditions, and she’s been challenged down to the contents of the guest list.

Remembering my own wedding and the compromises we made (although not for my mom…she was great), I started thinking about alternatives to the traditional wedding that causes so much stress.

My friend mentioned above has just found out that the all inclusive resort they booked for their honeymoon offers a FREE beach wedding in Mexico. That’s enough to make me get married again!
My mom heard of a couple inviting all of their friends to a huge barbecue. When the guests arrived, they were told that they were to be witnesses to the host’s wedding! What a perfect way to alleviate the pressure from the control freaks!
Many couples opt out of a traditional wedding ceremony and simply get married by a Justice of the Peace. They use the money saved on either a big honeymoon or a fun reception…or both!

As the big wedding season approaches, far too many brides are more anxious to get the ceremony behind them, feeling way too much pressure and conflict. If this is the case, consider a different approach. It is YOUR day. Enjoy it!

Photo by Johnny Jet via Flickr Creative Commons.

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Children Appreciate the Little Things

by mandianderson Leave a Comment

Photo by KOMUnews via Flickr Creative Commons.

It’s fair to say that my family has faced it’s share of stress lately. We have a lot going on, and we’re struggling to keep things as normal as possible for the children’s sake. So, Saturday evening we sat down with our 2 year old while his sister was visiting her grandparents. He immediately looked to me and told me that he wanted to play with his sister. “Emma’s at Grammy’s,” I told him, “Would you like Mommy and Daddy to play with you?” He looked at me with those big puppy dog eyes (which he was already struggling to keep open), and said, “Dat make me so happy!” Our hearts melted. Tears filled my husbands eyes, and of course, I cried like a baby. We dried up our tears, and the three of us read books and pushed trains on the couch. Within 30 minutes he was sound asleep, dreaming of his awesome night with Mommy and Daddy!

We as parents often struggle so hard to make our children happy that we forget just how easy it is! My guess is that at least 95% of us would look back to our childhoods and agree that our memories are not centered around material things, but the time we spent with family and friends. I’ve been thinking over the last couple of days of ways that I can offer my children more opportunities for these lasting memories. I’ve come up with a few.

Visit a park for a walk or a picnic…leave the phones and travel video games at home or in the car!!!
Family game night…without the tv! You’ll find you actually have a lot to talk about.
Host a barbecue or informal dinner with another family or two. Hang out outside and allow yourself to breathe in the fresh air. Set up some outdoor games and include the kids.
Cook a family dinner together. Again, leave the television off. However, we have fun dancing to loud music when we cook!

There are many ways to “reconnect” as a family. Remember what it’s all about. Life is too short. Take the time to appreciate the little things! Start now…not everyone will have a smart two year old to remind them!

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We All Have to Learn Sometime

by mandianderson Leave a Comment

Here I am at 11:07 on Friday evening showing my mom exactly what I mean when I discuss “blogging” or “posts”. See, I’m acting as if I know exactly what I’m doing. In reality, it wasn’t very long ago that I had to learn the ropes myself. And really, I guess we’re all still learning as we go.

You know what’s sad, though? My nine-year-old could probably sit down with me once or twice, take a few mental notes, and take over my job! They’re just wired that way!

Looking back at my elementary school days, I can only remember going to “computer” class once every two weeks, sitting at a very large computer and playing Oregon Trail…milk, tea, or coffee? I always became very frustrated because I was never able to finish my game…because that stupid computer was so slow! These days my daughter can’t wait the 3 seconds it takes to retrieve a saved file!

Fortunately, my daughter is a little too young to steal my job, and my mom is still too “clueless” to try. So, for right now, I’m safe. Given a few years, though, they may both be my competition!

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Friday Fun Video

by mandianderson 1 Comment

I put cookies in the oven a little while ago, and decided to see what I could find when I did a search for “cookies”. Look what I found!

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“Free” Money to Willing Organizations

by mandianderson Leave a Comment

I just returned from training at the Sommet Center (actually it is now officially the Bridgestone Arena) to work concessions as a fundraiser for a friend’s daughter. What I initially dreaded turned out to be a very informative evening. 75 to 80 percent of the workers in the concession stands there are “volunteers”, working for money that goes directly to their organization. What a great way to give back to the community. Some groups have earned over $50,000 in a year’s time. Yes, it takes a commitment of time and effort (and Advil for the leg and foot cramps from being on your feet for hours), but considering today’s economic struggles, it’s a welcome relief to many people. I spoke with several parents this evening who said that without this extra “income”, they would be forced to withdraw their children from their activities. Many thanks to the people who make all this possible. I guess sometimes it does take a village!

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Healthy Homework Habits Keep Everyone Happy

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I write this as I sit on my daughter’s bed…”monitoring” her homework progress. In other words, it takes me sitting by her side, constantly watching, to assure the work gets done. This has only recently become a problem. Up until this semester my baby was a workaholic, focused on nothing but getting the job done. I couldn’t get her in the door fast enough. But the hormones have shifted, and I believe I’m now faced with the dreaded task of keeping HER on task!

I find myself thinking back, trying to remember all of the “expert advise” I’ve read regarding the subject. Hmmm…looks like we’ve got some work to do!

Set up a separate study area (this probably means we shouldn’t be sitting here on the bed with the tv muted!)
TV, music, and phones out of reach!!!
Good lighting
Plenty of supplies on hand (this could help with the never ending desire to hop up and hunt down a new pencil, eraser, piece of paper, folder, etc.)

Establishing and sticking to the ground rules laid out above is key in providing a positive work environment. Doing this early in your child’s school experience will provide early steady work habits. Remember to evaluate your child’s work habits and work space on a regular basis, remembering that needs change frequently. Then, take the time to enjoy learning experiences with your child. It’s amazing what you can learn from them!

Photo by apdk via Flickr Creative Commons.

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Kid Parties that Don’t Break the Bank

by mandianderson Leave a Comment

As promised, I have some ideas for kids parties. Just keep in mind that your most important factors are cost, guests, and space. From there, the possibilities are endless!

I can’t post this without mentioning the basics…the swimming party, day at the museum, bowling, bounce place, gymnastics party, etc. But as I thought about what to write, I remembered a friend of mine who is struggling financially. For the last two years, she’s really had to stick to a budget…and I think she’s given her nine-year-old a couple of great parties.

The first year, she had a “formal”. All the guests dressed up in anything from Sunday clothes to prom dresses. They had a tea party, and decorated their own cupcakes. They had fancy punch, played a few games, and hung out. They had a blast!

This year, they went on a neighborhood scavenger hunt. My friend spoke with neighbors on her street ahead of time, and made a list similar to the following:

something fuzzy like a cat
something mushy like the inside of a pumpkin
something hairy like a spider web

Since the birthday party was at the beginning of October, she took advantage of the Halloween theme, but it could be adapted in many ways. The girls set out, with adults and teen volunteers, to find things on the list…to be provided by the neighbors. After finding all ten items, the groups returned to the house for cake and punch. What a clever idea. Not to mention low cost and unique!

Another friend did a sundae party one year. It was one of the best parties she had ever had, and one of the best we had ever attended!

Remember, parties don’t have to cost a fortune. Don’t stress. Enjoy it. If you have fun, so will your guests!

Photo by Theresa Thompson via Flickr Creative Commons.

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Birthday Party Planning Adds a Few Gray Hairs

by mandianderson Leave a Comment

I cannot believe it…my “baby” turns nine on Sunday. With that harsh reality also comes the dreaded question. What kind of party will she have? In early January, I was looking at either one MASSIVE party or two medium sized parties, one for her friends and one for our large extended family. The family all lives fairly close, and quite frankly, expects a party. And honestly, my daughter is very attached to most of these people, so it seems unfair to deny her a party with them. Then, there’s the school friends issue. No one gets an invitation unless they ALL get an invitation. That’s the school rule. One I definitely understand, but hate at the same time. Regardless, it’s another factor we must consider when planning a party.

So I began my yearly research of possible birthday venues and their party packages…Swim parties, museum parties, bowling parties, gymnastics parties…and so much more. Prices varied greatly, from just at $100 to over $300. Then again, I also had to consider the guests. I found great rates for a two hour swim session at an indoor pool…but I just couldn’t see Grandmothers and uncles swimming with Emma’s school friends (I don’t know, it just seemed wierd).

By the end of January, I was cut a huge break. “Girl Drama” as I loathingly call it struck my daughter and her “best friend”. So, much like her mother, my baby decided she “didn’t want to deal with any of them”. Neither of us deal all that well with conflict! So the decision was made…a fun, family party. I still had to find the place, as parking is a huge issue at our house, but it had gotten a whole lot easier.

My mother-in-law was able to rent out part of the clubhouse at her apartment complex for a very reasonable price. Emma decided on a “dinner party”, requesting salad, lasagne, bread, and, of course, cake (also provided by my mother-in-law who makes wonderful cakes!). We’ll throw in some sodas and call it a party. I feel like I got off really easy…and Emma is ELATED! Sometimes it’s the simple things that makes them the happiest!

Okay…I did get off really easy. I won’t leave you hangin’. Stay tuned for some fun birthday ideas for kids!

Photo by Pink Sherbet Photography via Flickr Creative Commons.

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Money Management for Children

by mandianderson Leave a Comment

My nine-year-old just stepped in to tell me about her dream last night. “I had TWO THOUSAND AND THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS,” she gleamed. By the look on her face, you’d have thought she had won the lottery.

It was at this point that I got that nagging feeling again. Like most parents, my husband and I are always trying to use any given opportunity to serve as a lesson in “money management”. However, our daughter has her own ideas about how “her” money should be spent. One of my first thoughts after hearing her dream was, “Baby, you’ll have it spent in two days!” So, once again, I am left pondering some of the ideas that have (and have not) worked for others.

Allowance – This is the big one. I have not seen, heard, or read any expert advice telling parents that children should have to earn what they make. The information I’m finding on giving an allowance states the importance of giving a child an alloted amount of money so that he/she will learn to budget. My husband and I have struggled with this, as we both believe that it is important that children understand that money is earned.
Spend/Save – Many people, regardless of the allowance rule, have set rules on how money will be allocated once the child receives it. For instance, some parents have a rule that 50% can be used as the child chooses, and the other 50% will be put into savings of some sort. Of course, the rules and percentages vary.
Behavior counts – Some folks combine the responsibility of smart spending with behavioral expectations. An example would be…A child receives $10 per week. But for each unacceptable behavior, a portion of that money is taken away.
When it’s gone…It’s gone – Well, this is self-explanatory. The child is allowed to spend what he or she wants, but when the money is gone, no exceptions are made.

Our daughter has just started to really understand the value of the dollar, mostly, I believe from seeing and hearing the ups and downs of our own financial decisions. I don’t believe there is one way alone to encourage a child to make good financial decisions. Knowing your child, knowing their habits, and knowing what works for your own family is crucial in deciding which “financial plan” is best for you.

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Family Fun for Valentine’s Day

by mandianderson Leave a Comment

Some of us will choose to stay at home on Valentine’s Day, and spend the day with our children. Don’t make it just another Sunday. Find something fun and exciting to do as a family. This is the perfect opportunity to take in some of that much-needed family time you’ve been craving!

Try some of these ideas:

Bake cupcakes or cookies. Allow all of the children to take part.
Ask the children to plan the dinner menu, and, if age appropriate, have them help cook the meal.
Game Day! Spend a few hours playing family-friendly games. Snack on munchies the kids helped make.
Watch a movie…or two…or three! Make popcorn – air poppers are a fun addition!
Scrapbook – Provide supplies for the kids to put together their own scrapbooks or scrapbook pages. Maybe you could even find photos of past Valentine’s Days.

Whatever you decide to do, remind the kids of what the day is really about…spending time with the people you love. It’s amazing what a little “together time” can do for today’s busy family!

Photo by VMiramontes via Flickr Creative Commons.

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